A lot of you may not know a whole lot about me. On my pre-AIP life food blog I shared a lot of my ups and downs in my life from the past four years when my husband and I split. Our split was a torrential amount of grief and suffering I had never experienced before. Little did I know that the experience of getting pushed off a cliff so to speak, would bring the most joy, loving and peace I have felt in my life so far. The courage I had to muster for forgiveness in my broken marriage transformed my life in a way I would not know deciding to take that path. It was a very powerful experience of trusting my life. It changed everything for me. I am incredibly grateful to my ex husband for being such a profound teacher.
When my life fell apart, or rather it unraveled so something else could come forward, I leaned into my mediation practice. I also leaned into support from my teachers and mentors. Robert Waterman EdD, LPCC is one of my teachers who started the Southwest College in Santa Fe, NM and has been a true guide for me.
This meditation from him is something I practice daily. It is incredibly easy and I love it because not only does it help me, it gives the worry in my mind something to do. I always call in the light when I do any sort of meditation or exercise. You may have your own prayer or practice to call upon when doing this before you get started. There is a more formal version of this exercise in Robert’s book Eyes Made Of Soul which goes into great detail the theory and practice of Noetic Balancing. Below I am sharing with you the paraphrased notes I took of how to do the meditation from Robert:
The more you try to solve it, the more you are obsessing. You have a choice about when you want to pay attention to the worry. You don’t need to do anything to fix it. Once you deconstruct your mind’s obsession or worry or addiction, it will eventually let go. Usually when we feel powerless, or small, or when we are in conflict, we don’t feel like we have any options. Everything we experience gets polarized. But we can drop into the center by watching the pebble drop. The polarization is collapsing with the pebble dropping and going into the wholeness through this exercise.
In a quiet spot (I do this in my car, bathroom, sitting at my desk, on planes, in bed. Anywhere I can shut my eyes for a moment)
1. pick an obsession (or for me I pick a worry like when I travel this weekend I may get the stomach flu and would ruin the whole trip) and touch with your finger or hand into that suffering
2. then find its counter point (I don’t get the flu on the trip, and in fact it is beautiful weather, laughter, joy, amazing food, twinkling lights, strong health) and touch another finger on your opposite hand into that
3 then find the center. Since one finger from each hand is touching into the opposite feelings, I see the center as the mid-line of my body. In my mind, I see a pond, and watch a pebble drop into the water and see it drop to the bottom of the pond. (I see myself standing on a dock or in a boat dropping the pebble)
4 polarity then starts to collapse
You are going into your wholeness and the polarization is collapsing with the pebble dropping.
I have been doing this practice since 2008. At first it took some concentration to collapse my worry and feel like I was getting the visuals straight. Now I do it so often that I can do it quite quickly. I have done it about worries about illness, relationships, money, career and health. As long as in my mind I can think of the best case and worst case scenario, I can do this exercise. For instance last summer when I went to Cabo, I worried about traveling and getting the stomach flu. I did this exercise the whole day before the trip. I was worried someone would fall ill and the trip would be ruined. This has happened before. Mae got the stomach flu in Hawaii when she was 1 and she barfed for 6 days straight. So when we went to Cabo, I of course worried about any sick people on the plane, the plane crashing, food poisoning, bad weather, sunburn, natural disasters..you get the idea. And I did the Pebble mediation every time I started to feel overwhelmed with worry. But, this exercise also requires you to imagine the best case scenarios as well, and that would be a sun filled vacation with amazing food, laughter, hugs, love, jokes, fun, walking barefoot on the beach, feeling the sun on my face, deep peace and relaxation in my amazing hotel room. I have found this to be a very straightforward way to handle my mind trying to run the show with worry. As I have come to learn, so much of my suffering comes out of me trying to control outcomes and judging myself when I catch myself doing it. This gets me off the hook and leaves my mind out of the equation. Great for worriers. I used to be a worrier. Now I am a pebble dropper. 🙂