You Don’t Have To Be An Autoimmune Warrior

Auto Immune Paleo, Blog

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Ultimately, life always leads us to where we need to go. And whether it takes 100 years or 3 minutes, the universe is supporting whatever timeline you choose. So really, you can’t ever lose.  Let me re-phrase that: we are the only ones judging the timing of our life. Let that sink in for just a moment. We are the only ones judging the timing of our lives; how quickly we get better or how fast we awaken to our divinity. The universe knows that we awaken, we awaken. No need to rush the unfolding of our hearts. You and your loving towards yourself is a masterpiece the angels lay in wait for. And when that moment happens, and we awaken to our own magnificence, I do believe the heavens rejoice. But, guess what? The heavens don’t use stopwatches. There is no agenda about how fast we travel toward our own wisdom or how fast we heal or how many times we stop and start a diet. No matter first or last place, angels sit on the sidelines loving us awake. But how is this related to your healing? Well, there are A LOT of messages, experts and paths out there to choose from. And every moment we have in our life, we get to choose what we want to participate in. I humbly suggest patience, going beyond right/wrong and embracing your own inner teacher first. I suggest choosing that path because it does not produce againstness which prevents healing. Healing happens when we connect with our wholeness. We are already whole, and illness is here to help us understand that.

Here is an example: Molly is deciding whether or not she wants to start the AIP diet. She skims popular AIP websites and sees lots of messages like “warrior, survivor, and no excuses.” She wonders if she is made of the right stuff for AIP. Because this isn’t Molly’s first rodeo. She has started diets and failed a number of times.  And, she knows that she hates her psoriasis and Hashimoto’s more than anyone else on the planet. She knows she wants it to go away. And she is scared of failing again. So she puts on her proverbial AIP running shoes and gets to work hoping this time she is sick and tired enough to stick to AIP. Because it is work it is, right? Well, yes and no. Here are common examples of different choices we are offered in the supermarket of healing (aka healing websites, blogs, e-courses etc). No excuses. Be brave. Find your Strength. Be a Warrior. Only trust certain sources. Try Not to Mess Up. And isn’t it wonderful we are offered so much to choose from? Here is a clue we are on the right track of finding a good healing program in the midst of so many messages: What aligns with your heart will feel good. When you lay out all the choices of healing paths, ask yourself which one feels best to your heart. 

The right healing will align with your heart

When I feel any kind of pressure like being scolded for ‘making excuses’ for healing or having to choose a right/wrong standard to uphold to, I will keep walking down the grocery aisle of choices. Because when you are ready you are ready. Healing happens in your heart first, then blooms into an action plan that aligns with your values and your core wants. Not the other way around. Real, true, big healing always starts in your heart. Everyone has heard about the story of the man with heart disease that “got healthy” and reversed it. Or the person that lost 200 pounds on a diet. But did they heal their hearts? Did they resolve the place inside of themselves that was behind the issue to begin with? Usually not. So our antibodies go down and we resolve fatigue on AIP. But the whole of us is not healed in that scenario. Only a part of us is. There is a place still calling out to you where the knot of what ails you started. And usually that is not a physical place; it is a memory, belief, event, circumstance or situation.

I have been doing this work long enough to know what we can’t diet ourselves into peace. We cannot eat our way into joy. We cannot cure our way into love. But what we can do, is get hip to what is right in front of us. We can accept today. We can sink into this exact moment where all the loving, flaws, mess-ups and beauty that our humanness contains. When we come to the place of “I am going to love the person inside of myself that cannot stick to a diet” then we will come closer to sticking to the diet.

Healing your Hashimoto’s is not about willpower. It is not about strength. It is not about the right healing diet. Healing your Hashimoto’s is about believing you are worth your own healing. It is about accepting all your bright and shiny parts ALONG WITH the dark shadows and underbelly of pain that has happened in your life equally.

All the healing you are looking for will not come out of trying hard enough. That is not to say eating AIP is not hard work. It is. But how you feel about that hard work is the gateway to wisdom. If you are resentful of the hard work on AIP, you won’t heal. If you are angry about your disease and keep turning away from the powerful message your anger has, changing your diet will ultimately not work. How you feel about your circumstances will set you free or keep you in chains. And while many will promote being a ‘warrior’ and identify themselves as a warrior of some kind, it is not your only option. Being a ‘warrior’ is part of uncovering what works and doesn’t so can’t be discounted. I am not saying being a warrior is wrong and being loving is right. I am suggesting that you have options of wholeness available at your fingertips at any given moment. Accepting what is present in your life is an option. And when you consider wholeness through love, it offers a rapid path to curing what ails you.

So here is another scenario for Molly:

Molly decides to try AIP. But before she changes her diet, she makes a decision to sits with her sadness and see what information she can find there. She stops running away from her suffering. She walks through the timeline of her life and decides to consider the most painful moments of life unfolding as messages of knowledge about how she feels about herself and her circumstances. She finally allows herself to be broken open about her father leaving the family when she was 9 years old and the belief she created from that moment that she was not loveable. She recalls the boyfriends in college that treated her poorly and her willing participation in those relationships because she thought that was all she deserved. She saw the overachieving traits she developed in her 30’s to cover up her fears of never feeling good enough. She clearly saw the unfolding of what she made up about life as a life preserver to protect her from the harshness of life. She saw her belief that life consistently let her down and at the bottom of that belief was how control was the only way to soothe this. She went there first. And then she went on AIP. And it was hard. And she did mess up a few times. But when she messed up, she was able to use the whole of herself and her spirit to be a cheerleader. Healing was equal parts looking at the beliefs she made up about life that limited her and participating in a new diet. She resonated with love this time around. She resonated with wholeness and noticed that this time the diet seemed almost effortless and she did not resent all the hard work that went along with AIP. She had no need to take the warrior stance she had for all those years. No need to fight anymore. Peace for her father came as she examined the choices she had made all of those years for survival. She realized she always did the best she could in the hostile environment of feeling alone and not worthy. Finally, it all unraveled and she found the calm inside of her story. It had never been about fighting or strength. It has always been about loving.

 

 

25 Comments

  1. Jane litsey

    Beautifully written! Thank you for your work. You speak truth from the heart 🙂

    Reply
    • Jessica

      Thank you Jane. xx-jessica

      Reply
  2. Chelsey

    Beautiful.

    Reply
    • Jessica

      Thank you Chelsey!! 🙂 xx-jessica

      Reply
  3. Stephanie Brockway

    Jessica, that is PROFOUND! Wow, just wow is all I can say. As usual, your posts always come at precisely the right time for me. Thank you. I think this is probably the best practical explanation of what it actually looks like to heal from a place of love. Thank you! xoxo

    Reply
    • Jessica

      Stephanie! So happy you found this helpful and practical! Sending you a squeeze! xx-jessica

      Reply
  4. Katie

    Food for thought; no pun intended. I am getting there. Though, it’s not clear to me it leads to healing; just peace. Maybe they are the same thing.

    Reply
    • Jessica

      Hi Katie. Yes, peace promotes healing and healing promotes peace. Both are forms of cooperation and love. xx-jessica

      Reply
  5. Vicki

    Perfect, I love Molly’s second journey, the loving one. Your posts always come at the right time for me. Thank u x x x x x x

    Reply
    • Jessica

      Hugs to you dearest one. xx-jessica

      Reply
  6. Calvin

    In a complex world, to embrace simplicity. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make em drink. I can vouch for the protectionism, hard to turn the page, hard to put down, or even open or close the cover.

    Reply
    • Jessica

      Hi Calvin..yes so true. Thank you for sharing that. 🙂 jessica

      Reply
  7. Annys

    I love this article, Jessica. It was a major step forward for me to realise that I was worth bothering with! And that the negative thinking I’m so used to was keeping me ill (I have burnout – aka CFS/ME or SEID). Staying with the pain and anger and grief is a major difficulty though – but deciding I am on a journey, rather than being a warrior, has helped. Books like Women Who Run With the Wolves, and From Girl to Goddess are helping, too.

    Reply
    • Jessica

      Hi Annys! Oh, Women Who Run With The Wolves is a lovely book! Love that! Yes, staying with the pain and anger can be more difficult at first. But I think the pay-off it worth it. Let me know how everything goes!! xx-jessica

      Reply
  8. Ladyshanae

    My trouble is that I can’t seem to work out what has me so…depressed? For lack of a better word. I don’t have any major childhood trauma, my parents have been married for 40+ years! no one really close to me has died…..I wish I could pin point WHY I struggle so much with food and emotions and dealing with my AI diseases. But thank you for this article. It has made me rethink things and hopefully be able to dig deep enough to find what’s holding me back. I’ve done AI protocol three times, but I inevitably fall off the wagon and am a bigger mess than I was when I started.

    Reply
    • Jessica

      Perhaps just embracing and befriending the you that struggles. Imagine her as a person beside you..see what clothes she wears or what outfit she chooses so you can get a picture in your mind. Considering loving the struggling you that doesn’t know why your struggling. Appreciating the mystery around it. Fully friend the you that falls off the wagon and see if that gets you anywhere…just a thought xx-jessica

      Reply
  9. Jessica

    xxoo Kristi 🙂

    Reply
  10. julie

    as usual, im crying because i’m so moved by this post. ive tried and failed AIP and i continue to ignore my mental health that hinders progress, for fear that doing so will require more effort than i have the energy to put out. im now starting to realize that my healing has not begun because my spirit and my mind are hurting. and then the cycle begins of hating that i allow myself to be upset about being sick, a thought that perpetuates illness itself. im trying to figure out how to break that cycle. thank you for opening up my eyes tonight about the need to face mental and emotional demons that lurk behind our physical ailments. the mind and body connection is real, and i have ignored it all too long. perhaps now ill take a moment to recognize it and when i’m ready, ill face the issues that prevent my healing.

    Reply
    • Jessica

      Hi Julie..I am guessing that even your realization and vulnerability to sense this like you have in this comment will help. And, there are people out there very skilled in this particular kind of work. Sometimes I think connecting the dots is the hardest part, and it seems that you are doing just that! xx-jessica

      Reply

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