I had an experience recently that was incredibly sad. I said goodbye to someone I did not want to say goodbye to. One of the upsides/downsides to working in the intuitive realm is that usually I know when these things are coming. The last 3 or 4 days I felt things brewing, but did not know exactly what was coming, just that it was. For me, these events manifest as crying and feeling sad without knowing exactly why. Eventually what needs to be addressed shows itself. In this case, it was investing in taking care of myself in a way that felt best, and to do that, I sadly had to say goodbye to someone I care about. It was painful like only heartbreak can be. It was not easy to say goodbye to such a beautiful soul. The takeaway of my experience was a powerful one however. In many cases in my life I have choose not to take care of myself. This time I choose to. And when I was driving to the airport to pick up friends and the reality of what was happening hit me, my immediate response to myself while I felt the free fall of dread coming in, was “this is going to be ok, because love is going to catch me.”
Many times when hard things happen like in this case, I say to myself “Oh no. Not this.” You may often feel like this too. When you feel yourself starting a flare. When you eat the wrong food. When you go to the doctor for the test results and you are worse than before. When you are doing AIP 110% and still waking up with aching joints. Or when you feel tingling in your arms and fingers and wondering if something serious is happening in your body. Or the lonely struggle of autoimmune disease nobody seems to relate to. Those places. Those are the places that have healing because every single one of these struggles is asking you to believe in yourself. And when you do; when you believe yourself worth believing in, healing and miracles happen. I did this, and made an investment into a deeper place than diet, supplements, lab work, doctors and stress management can go. I made an investment in myself that I could face this difficult, sad thing. I did not push away the dread, or the sadness or the difficulty. I welcomed them in as tools to help me uncover a valuable lesson of wisdom being presented to me: choose the most loving path for myself. This is the surest place of healing. Run towards what ails you. It is the quickest way through it, and if you move beyond the good and bad of it, there are nuggets of gold for you. As I gather my nuggets of gold through tears of sorrow, you may find yourself doing the same. If you are, know from the deepest place inside your soul, that you are not alone on this journey and always and forever love will catch you if you let it. And when it catches you, consider that it may not look like what you want or think. There may be sadness. There may be suffering. There may be illness. There may be heartache or uncomfortable change. Trust that. Trust the unwinding the universe is doing. Because the investment in loving means you are guaranteed to be put back together again in a new way that will serve you better. That is the deal with love. As you choose it, it chooses back. Being born on the planet gave you a ticket to this resource of loving that will never expire. And that is The Loving Diet. Choose in. Choose you. Choose you can do this. Choose the loving inside yourself that is the strongest and most solid resource we have. And stay fierce in your loving. Even in sad goodbyes.