Finding Your Inner Healer Is The Medicine

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What are you looking for when you heal? If you might, consider thinking about that for a moment. Because I think humans are on a deeper journey than just curing what ails us by diet and supplements. I think we are growing our hearts.

It is something to ponder. Imagine this: you healed. What does that look like and feel like? Maybe even write down what that would mean to you.

I am guessing that you healed is not just the absence of physical pain. I am guessing you healed also includes some things like happiness, feeling fulfilled and content. Because here is what I have observed; when you get a room full of people (sick or not) and you ask them to discuss the things that ail them most, it usually includes things like:

“ I am unhappy with the path my life is taking”

“ I feel sad a lot”

“ I can’t find a fulfilling relationship”

“ It feels as though life is against me”

“ Life has blindsided me”

“ I don’t know how to be happy”

Any of those ring true? I have to tell you something really important. Illness, chronic disease and physical issues in our body help us to get those questions answered. Isn’t that profound? We have a whole instruction manual inside ourselves that contains the truth about us being amazing and miraculous AND also the formula of why what ails us and how to heals. This sort of makes my head spin. So every time something goes wrong, I can be rest assured that I have everything present to heal and resolve it. It is like we all have been given our own little playbook of information woven into our physical bodies. We have SO much information sitting in the cells. Information that can help unwind what binds us. How we feel about our life plays out in our cells.

Let me give an example of this. Orphanages in Russia. A nature vs. nurture angle on what I am suggesting here in this post. When babies are given all the biological things necessary for survival in an orphanage like food and shelter, they survive. However without love, nurturing and bonding due to being motherless, they carry with them physical and emotional issues for life. If all we needed was a healing diet and supplements to truly heal what ails us, then people would not stay sick. There is something deeper here when we look at why our bodies dysregulate and there is something more meaningful and deeper than throwing out the idea that meditation, self-love and  positive thinking are the missing pieces to add to your AIP/Autoimmune/Chronic Disease healing plan if those ideas still come from a fixing mentality (and most do). When we decide we can come from the place wholeness, then we get met with wholeness. When we come from a a place of fixing, (even when we meditate and think positive mantras) we get met with fixing. Pause for just a moment and consider how you feel in your body when you read that. Which feels better? Wholeness or Fixing? 

We humans compartmentalize things. It is our nature. We keep hearing our body is in one category and our spiritual life in another. But what if it wasn’t? What is being sick was the path of our hearts. What if failed relationships was the path? What if it was all about growing our hearts and learning how to be loving? I bring this up because I seen blurbs in the healing world like “If I change my diet I will be happier.” I am not going to argue that because if you have celiac and you stop eating gluten you will feel better and that really can contribute to feeling more happy. Personally, I feel better eating Paleo. Has Paleo made me happier? Has AIP made me happier? No. There are components of eating Paleo that create happiness in an indirect way like “Gosh I am so proud of myself because I am feeding myself in such a loving way.”  But the biggest work I have done to heal my life and find joy was the work I did inside of me as I vulnerably examined my relationship to everything. And I say illness is an opportunity to do that. And I will keep saying it until the world knows that there is an incredible option of healing that awaits them. And it has been really difficult because often times I did not like what I saw about myself and I had to face it in a very intimate way in order to resolve it. Only when it was resolved did it free up space and give me freedom from the emotions weighing me down. Here is an example of how I just did this process. My daughter’s school nurse called me and told me she had to get three vaccines for her to enter into 7th grade due to the new California vaccine law. Now, I have been pondering this issue since the law passed. I am not anti-vaccine and I am not giving this example because I want to talk about vaccines. I am giving this example because when I talked to the nurse on the phone and go so upset, it was not the vaccines that was the issue for me. It was the issue of feeling like I was being told by someone else how to mother my child. It was feeling like I was being told I don’t know how to best manage my child’s health. I felt tremendous grief, loss of control. sadness and despair. Maybe those are the feelings that have come along with your illness too? Or something close? 


But I decided to go deeper into that situation to heal my feelings about it and also gain some valuable wisdom, so I took responsibility. I let myself cry as long as I needed and when I felt a small opening in my grief I decided to be responsible for it since it was in my reality. I went deep into meditation/prayer and started forgiving myself. I decided I would love my neighbor as myself (the neighbor being the state of California). I decided I would forgive myself for the part of me judges the government. Judges authority. I looked deeply into myself and loved the parts of me that wanted to argue and fight. I loved the parts of me that had ever taken someone’s power away from them. I loved the part of me that has ever thought I knew the “right” way to heal. I went inside to heal the outside reality of my circumstances. I stopped blaming the government for its oppression and instead concentrated on any pieces in me that have ever oppressed anyone or anything. And I did it until the feeling lifted. For me it was over a month. But every time I felt that resistance come up in me, I went directly into forgiveness. That is how I have gotten loose of the fear and panic. That is how I have changed how reality shows up to meet me. I engaged it fully without blame. Even if at first I blame. Because in my humanness I do knee-jerk to blame when painful things show up. But I keep sitting with things until I move into the space where I am ready to engage without blame.

We can trust what comes present in life to serve us. That we don’t need to “fix” what is wrong, just cooperate with it.

That is freedom.

We can choose to engage where we hold againstness about our circumstances.

That is liberation.

If you look at the generations of masters, saints, guru’s and enlightened beings that have graced this planet, they are not without suffering and disease. But in every religion, we see that they changed their relationship to illness and whatever was provoking the suffering. They used suffering as the way out. They used suffering to get free. They cooperated with it. Fully. And that changed how they experienced it in their body. That is the path of the Inner Healer. I don’t know of a more powerful medicine we humans have. When we turn towards the wholeness that we have the tools to manage hard things, then our biology shifts in response to that. The way out is from what seems like the burdens. I have tested this out. It has been the only way I have found the joy and healing. By embracing my wholeness, even if it is little by little. I keep trusting that there is something in the pain. And I keep seeing myself walk through the doorway that holds the loving. I keep turning towards the loving. 

I love you.

xx

4 Comments

  1. Avatar Angela July 30, 2016 at 7:31 am

    Thank you Jessica! “We can trust what comes present in life to serve us. That we don’t need to “fix” what is wrong, just cooperate with it.

    That is freedom.” Great JF quote of the day! Love you and the help you offer me.

    Reply
    1. Jessica Jessica July 31, 2016 at 7:34 am

      Thank you Angela!

      Reply
  2. Avatar Ramaya August 31, 2016 at 1:32 am

    Thank you so much… Had me in tears many times, then very confident that love and forgiveness can heal. I flip back and forth from total self doubt to Being the Inner Healer.. too often. Thanks for sharing so clearly. xo

    Reply
    1. Jessica Jessica September 1, 2016 at 10:32 am

      Hi Ramaya! Thank you, thank you for the love and sending hugs and squeezes to you. -jessica

      Reply

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