5 Ways To Reframe The Role Of Illness In Your Life

Auto Immune Paleo, Blog

Your Relationship To Your Illness is The Cure

Ultimately, the relationship with our life is the cure. I suggest loving as the path to resolve illness because it is the most direct way to uncover the wisdom that illness is trying to bring you. Illness is here to provide a cue to look at your life and resolve what is blocking wholeness. Illness is a teacher trying to awaken us to something not serving us. Love is most direct path to do this. I think it is incredibly cool that if you consider that perspective, illness is actually here to help us get the life we want.

When you use love, you don’t have to worry about if the science is the most up to date, if the food allergy test is approved by the paleo community, if the supplements have enough selenium, or if 3 servings of raw kale a week will hurt your thyroid. With love, you reach out your arms, and bring everything that is around you closer, and use all of what is happening in your life to show, teach, learn, love and LIFT. You start there, and then trust what shows up. You let the glue of the universe (love) manage things. You invest your trust there. That gets you out of victim, scarcity and lack instantaneously.

The healing you are searching for, dreaming for, yearning for…it already lives in your heart right this very second. I am suggesting the entire point of illness is to teach you about uncovering your love, brightness and magnificence. That the very thing you are searching for already exists inside of you regardless of your physical body, illness, or life falling apart.

I know that the talk of love as medicine is pretty radical. But, ask yourself a few questions before you decide this is crazy talk. I suggest writing the answers to these questions down on a piece of paper. I promise this is going somewhere!

1. How well has the healing you have searched for worked so far? Has it met your expectations?

2. Have you know anyone or yourself to follow the diet “perfectly” and yet you still got worse? And when you got worse you feel like you failed in some way?

3. Do you feel a lack of happiness, joy and fulfillment in your life from illness?

4. Do you consider your illness to be something to overcome, battle or fight?

5. Are you frustrated with how much you spend on your illness and how much you have to “DO” in relation to your illness? Doctors, supplements, organic food, lifestyle/positive thinking?

Every question I listed above are questions my clients have asked me directly, or have come up in sessions as questions over and over. I am going to re-answer all of the questions above from a loving perspective. It is how I work with client to re-frame struggle and open up illness to be a wisdom-giver. I take the loving perspective because love is the most powerful transformer to all aspects of the self: heart, mind and body. It also works instantly and is free. Love is at the tippy top in the universe as far as power and reach. The physical body is the last stage or evolution of how matter forms. Normally when our body fails us, we attempt to fix the body first. And while I am not suggesting you stop that method, I am suggesting you ADD another method. Think of it like this. Consider a chain reaction car accident. Think about which car starts the accident (the one in the front). If you were to consider illness a chain reaction car accident, your illness is the last car that got damaged. And yet it is the first car we work on. I am suggesting you work on the car that caused the accident to begin with. Find and heal the car that started the accident because it has the answers you are looking for. That is The Loving Diet™… going to the real root of what caused the ripple effect/chain reaction car accident in your life. That is how we really pull the string to unravel what ails us so we can heal our entire life. So instead of trying to change the body to bring more joy and healing to your life, I am asking you to consider increase the joy and happiness first by loving what is present in your life and then the ripple effect has the ability to change the physical body. This kind of healing requires only one thing: you have to choose it. Love is non-inflicting, so reality sets itself up around you according to your beliefs.  Change the beliefs you have, then LIFE (spirit, mind, body) changes. This is radical because almost all health care says “do this, do that” and you will be healed. Try this, try that and maybe you will heal. Eat this way, relax, do yoga, eliminate grains and your autoimmune disease will get better. And yet we all see how that is not always the case. Even our best laid plans can dissolve and disease keeps coming. And secretly we hope that disease and disaster won’t keep picking us, right? We go online and see that person who does everything right gets another autoimmune diagnosis. And the message we hear right after that is “TRY HARDER.” When that happens, we are left with the feeling of failure. We are left with the conclusion that something is wrong with us because we have not found the perfect formula of healing, but if we try harder, be more scientific, look harder, we will eventually find health and healing. I am suggesting a different, more direct route called Love. The Loving Route means there is no such thing as failure or trying harder. The loving route means you build the internal foundation inside yourself for handling challenges, physical illness and struggle through one simple starting place: Love What Is Present

So here are those questions re-framed from a loving perspective. It may seem counter-intuitive at first to consider these as options for healing. I suggest you keep going because with the Loving path, you have nothing to lose. You don’t discount anything. You use everything to lift. You use the diet, doctors, supplements, disease all to learn, build wisdom and lift. You use the downward spirals as tools of wisdom. You use the achievements and successes as tools of wisdom. Nothing is discounted. The big investment is in yourself when you take the loving route. You can start right this very second with out going to the grocery store or buying a bottle of selenium. Right now, right here you can change the biochemistry in your body. Right this very second.

1. How well has the healing you have searched for worked so far? Has it met your expectations?

If you answered No to this question, you are not alone. Here is another way to re-frame “No”: No doesn’t mean no or wrong. No is prompting you to go deeper. ‘No’ means you are getting somewhere because your heart is asking you to consider that there more options are available to you. That is very good news. You are not at the end of your rope, you are just at the beginning when ‘No’ shows up. So pull ‘No’ closer and see if it will tell you the next road to take. All NO means is that you are being asked to go bigger and life will support you when you go big for yourself. A total win-win.

2. Have you know anyone or yourself to follow the diet “perfectly” and yet you still got worse? And when you got worse you feel like you failed in some way?

Here is the deal about things getting worse or feeling like you failed. Those conclusions can either trap you or free you. You get to decide. When you decide on them freeing you, life unfolds differently. Then worse and failure take on different meanings and trying harder isn’t in the equation. Loving more is your new prompt. Every time life seems to be failing you, it is your personal cue to love deeper. Love yourself struggling. Love yourself in the sad place. Love how hard it is to be a human being that feels like life is hopeless.

Old way: “I failed. I feel hopeless and need to look for a new way to not fail. I am going to try harder now.” In that scenario, failure has trapped you. Any movement in your life from that trapped perspective is coming from scarcity.

New way: “I failed. Failure is my prompt to take a different perspective. When I fail, that is my personal signal to trust this failure, find the blessings of this failure and believe in myself.” In that scenario, failure ALWAYS lifts you. When you fail, it is a prompt to keep going. Not a sign of mess-up.

Failure can prompt you to trust yourself in a way you had not imagined.

Old way: “I feel worse so I failed somehow.”

New way: “Oh look! I failed! That means there is more for me to learn. More to embrace for wisdom. Life is asking me to take a kinder, more gentle approach. I am frustrated and angry, but those feelings are giving me really valuable information about what path will serve my life best. I am going to be gentle on myself and trust something will show up for my highest good.”

3. Do you feel a lack of happiness, joy and fulfillment in your life from illness?

When you don’t feel happy, joyful or fulfilled, that is life saying “there is more, not less for you to discover.” When joy is absent, I see it as an invitation to graduate from high school to grad school. When you recognize that you are not happy, that is wisdom. How many  people do you know that are miserable and don’t even know why or that they are? If you know you are unhappy or sad, this is a good sign you are on the right track. That is a sign that there is more support you can call upon to help you achieve happiness. And it is up to us to trust the timing here. Lets say yesterday your doctor told you that you Homocysteine is high on your blood work. It has doubled in the last 6 months since being on AIP and supplements. (I am giving this example because it happened to one of my clients this week). Big disappointment. Doing all the things ‘right’ yet the blood work showed a decline in your health with that inflammatory marker increasing. It could be a seen as a failure, disappointment and frustrating. Feeling unhappy from this kind of news is totally normal. So I say, feel those things. Let them come. And AT THE SAME TIME have openness to the idea that life is asking you look under some rocks that you haven’t yet. Perhaps your definition of safety, success, security? Remember, physical illness comes last. Our beliefs about life come first. Work on those and you get a wonderful ripple effect that contains healing of all aspects of your life, not just your physical body. Why be a wave when you can be the ocean? This kind of reflection requires you to choose it, trust it and have openness. Because when we invest in love, we invest in what the universe gives us as being the best thing for us. So harder in some ways because we must stop controlling our lives so much, but easier because we invest in the big wise love pushing the universe towards wholeness instead of shouldering all of that ourselves.

4. Do you consider your illness to be something to overcome, battle or fight?

When you take the approach ‘Use Everything to Lift’ then you don’t fight against what comes at you in life. You use it to your advantage. You use illness as the opportunity to add to your life in some way. This may be to discover you are worthy of love, or that love is safe to trust, or that finding your true life’s calling is okay to follow. Healing in this world tends to follow this pattern: You get sick. You fix it. Move on. How about this instead: You get sick. You find out what it is here to teach you. You heal your heart, you find out what is stopping you from increasing joy and happiness. You embrace your humanness.

I will give you an example of this. Last night I watched a piece about CrossFit on 60 Minutes. Mr. Glassman, who started CrossFit had polio as a child. Polio!! Most would consider that a horrible cross to bear. And perhaps for him it was. But Polio may have caused the suffering that grew his heart to discover a new way to exercise. And from that struggle, the idea of CrossFit was born. And now 4 million people benefit from that great idea. So is Polio the enemy? Well, we don’t know. I am being theoretical here. But, I could consider that Polio was the vehicle and the teacher. We either become trapped or freed by our circumstances, see? We are the only ones who get to decide which way we go.

5. Are you frustrated with how much you spend on your illness and how much you have to “DO” in relation to your illness? Doctors, supplements, organic food, lifestyle/positive thinking?

Okay, lets say you decide to use illness as a helper, teacher, assistant, loving partner. Then what? Well, after you decide that, you just keep reinvesting in that belief over and over and over again. That is called awakening. You stay in the idea that your body and heart will use illness to lift. Then you trust it. Every day, your work is to trust it. Trust yourself and your decision. Trust what shows up, even if it looks like things are worse or the same. Your sole job is to keep reinvesting in the idea that your life is working for you. That is awakening to the loving. That is trusting the timing of your life. That is The Loving Diet™


  1. Jane

    Beautifully articulated and something entirely missed by most in the healing process. In the functional medicine world, they often talk about root cause of disease. Although root cause is seen as gut infections, mold, poor diet, etc, the real root cause of disease starts with the attitude and beliefs that made that illness possible. Thank you for getting the message our there!

    • Jessica

      Jane! Thank you for your great comment! Glad you see the power in the outlook as well. xx-jessica


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